STORIES AND SONGS FROM A PUNK ROCK GIRL MAKING YOGA MUSIC AND TRYING TO CALM DOWN

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MAMA, AM I GOING TO DIE? 


The question comes at me like an unexpected brick to my face in the parking lot of BJ’s Wholesale on route 23 in New Jersey where I grew up. I’ve lived in France for eight years and it’s been nearly two years since my last visit back to America.
 

“So it happens here…..” flickers through my mind as I move my four year old son quickly across a lane of moving SUVs to the the safety of the sidewalk. He holds my hand tightly and looks up expectantly with both hope and fear written in his big blue eyes. “Mama, am…Read more

HOW NOT TO WIN AT YOGA 

It’s freezing cold on an early morning Tuesday in January.  I’m on my back in a hot room with my feet on the floor three feet behind my head and my arms out three feet in the other direction.  I don’t know what the name of this pose is but my entire stomach hangs directly into my face like a pillow of flesh in a near smother.  I'd call this Mamagutsasana.  My shirt rises up and my belly button moves back and forth across my nose in rhythm with my increasingly strained breath.  Note to self: pre-baby workout…Read more

YINTRO TO PANIC 

Oh noooo. Oh nonononononono.....
My breath tightens in a familiar onslaught of a panic attack.

Get out. Get out now.
Jump through that window, just jump. DO IT. Launch yourself through the glass window and just get out of here. NOW. GO.

CODE RED CODE RED CODE RED……..

No, I’m not in some disaster or emergency. I’m in my first Yin restorative yoga class and I am 100% freaking OUT.  This is about the last place on earth I thought a panic attack would present itself but here it is, in full force in the middle…

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NEW AGE AND THE JERK 

When I sent my album We All Need To Calm Down to the digital distributor this month and had to choose which genre it falls under, I was surprised to find my heart was pounding as I nervously checked New Age. Secondary category? Um, Devotional? Whoa and wait a minute. I sat staring at those words and realized that a judgmental part of me is actually freaked out I made an album categorized as New Age. I suddenly feel like a jerk. A big judgmental Pitchfork Stereogum Converse clad eye rolling indie rock… Read more

IT DIDN'T RAIN PONIES 

I got thrown out of my own 10th birthday party for launching a chair at the station wagon in a raging fit because I didn’t win the door prize.  At my own party.  All I knew was door prize meant prize and prize meant winning and winning meant me.  I sat in my room steaming and enraged at how yet again, it did not rain ponies on my birthday.  It rained ruin and unfairness and disappointment and total destruction of everything I wanted.  Everything I expected.

I was a master of the build up, the creative…Read more